Eau de Doggie

Why is it, that our owners insist on keeping us clean? We are dogs for goodness sake, it's our God given right to smell like one!

Admittedly I am not the outdoorsy kind, and the roughest surface my paws generally touch is the kitchen tiles. I don't ever get the chance to roll in the dirt or hit the beach, and honestly I much prefer the comfort of my bag, and am not that keen on the feeling of sand running through my paws.

Humans are obsessed with their own hygiene, deodorants, perfumes and body butters, I am sure my mum could have bought a small island with the amount of money she has spent on that kind of stuff over the years... what drives me mental is she feels the need to take out her obsessive compulsive freakiness out on me!

For some reason she has a coronary every time I lick my paws or my neither regions... screaming at me as if I committed bloody murder.
What she ceases to understand is we dogs have no problem in sniffing our other furry friends nether regions, so why, Oh why is it such a problem when sniffing my own?

The other thing I love to do to stir her up, is after I have done a number 1, I like to give it a quick spot check, in other words, a quick whiff just to make sure all is as it should be... and she starts goes completely ballistic at me... geez!

Sometimes if I really want to piss her off, I'll give the said wizz a quick lick... it tastes a little tart and does something really weird to my tongue, cause it starts quivering out of control... but the look on her face is priceless and well worth the taste!

Having said that though, one of these days I'll be eating my words when she decides to post a video on "You Tube" of me in the act.

Today she made me have a bath... man I really hate baths... I only had one two weeks ago, yet she thought I needed another one! Not only am I subjected to being stuck in a bucket of water up to my neck, but then I am made to sit there, all nice and still while she clips my nails, trims my paws (I can't help the fact that they look like hobbits feet) and cleans my ears... Grrrrr! Can't a girl get some peace and quiet, Sunday is part of my weekend too!

Anyway now that I am just chilling before a massive week at work, I just thought I'd put it out there, in case any of my fellow furry friends felt the same!

Well I should call it a night and get some beauty sleep... this is me signing off for now!
Till next time stay fabulous and always be kind to animals!
Adieu Angelxxx

I have a bone to pick!

So what... you think just because I am a chihuahua I can't write a blog... whatever!
I am so sick of the bad name us Chihuahua's have after a certain heiress that shall remain unamed decided to parade us round like a fashion accessory, seriously Tinkerbell has feelings too you know, and what was worse, poor Tinks got replaced by a ferret!
There is a saying you humans have - you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives... well let me tell you same goes for us, speaking of Tinks, word is she tried to get a new start but her abduction plan totally caved and blondie found her again.

Talking of feelings, I am majorly peeved... I have a bone to pick, literally...
When my mum (more about her later) takes on one of those trips to those big mall things, I do what any self respecting hand bag dwelling dog should, I sit in my bag looking cuter than Jake Gyllenhaal in a suit and behave myself, I don't go sticking my head out sniffing strangers bums, I don't lick, and I certainly don't bark. I have manners, breeding, I am a pedigree for God's sake, so why oh why do idiot humans feel the need to leer and stare?

Yes dumbass, I am a dog in a bag... yes moron I am real, (my mum is a bit of loon, but not completely crazy), yes I am freaking cute, hell do I know it and if I didn't have a tongue that was too big for my mouth, I would bite your snotty nose little prat for smacking me on the head like a tickle me Elmo doll.... Grrrrrrr!!!!

Sorry for getting my fur in a fluster but it just bothers me...

Now where was I, ahhh yes, please excuse me for not properly introducing myself, I am Angel, but more about me later, my mum is on the move, damn looks like we have to go... one can only imagine where we will end up this time, if I had a dollar for everytime some dim witted human said "Oh my look at it's tongue hanging out it must be thirsty!" I would be carried around in one of those Louis Vuitton dog bags... ahhh a girl can have dreams can't she...

Until next time stay fabulous and be kind to animals
Adieu Angelxxx